7 years ago tonight I was sitting next to this sweet, shy, sexy young guy. Eating peach yogurt while he drank his Chocolate shake as "co workers" on a "date". We laughed and talked and got to know each other better. We laughed at a woman who had some hedious glowing earrings, and talked "hypothetically" about children, and chose names if "hypothetically speaking we ever had kids". He took me to his brand new house in the area he had just bought and showed me all the rooms and drove fast down a winding dark back road in his silver showtruck with the blue interior lights shining at my feet. He dropped me off at my car and we talked a bit more, he kissed me on the cheek and I drove home smiling, tingling with butterflies and giggly....
In 7 years we have had 2 kids, lost a child, lost an uncle, lost friends....we have had weddings, and baby showers, we have made lasagna for family who had lost loved ones. We have laughed, we have cried, and we have had some bad fights I was amazed we made it through. We have heard the words "its a boy!" and later "its a girl!", we have said "I do" and danced our first dance. We have held each other through dark days, and lifted each other on darker ones. We have been each other's stone, our best friends, our other half. We have gained friends, lost family, and made our bonds stronger with the ones we have now. We have had first shots, first steps, first smiles. We have had daycare interviews, pre-k orientation, and kindergarten graduations. We have had nights where we just held each other all night long, and nights spent whispering exhausted over the phone from Chicago but not wanting to be the first to say goodnight. We have had heartache, and pain, we have joy and elation. We have grown from a couple of stupid young kids, to mom and dad of two incredible kids. We have been boyfriends and girlfriend, fiances, and husband and wife. We have always been best friends.
Its been an amazing 7 years, it seems like its only been a minute, and at the same time seems like decades. We have grown so much, experienced what true love is, and learned to laugh when it seems like you cant. 7 years has flown by and dragged, and has shaped us so much. We have seen jobs, cars, and pets come and go...we have seen storms that had us running for cover, and the biggest rainbows ever. We have seen ice storms, and snow storms, we have seen hurricanes and tornados. We have had christmases, and Thanksgiving turkey, we have watched the peach drop in Atlanta. We have wandered aimlessly on new years day, and gotten lost on halloween. We have watched our kids squeal in delight at christmas lights, and crack up picking massive pumpkins at Burt's farm. We have had boiled peanuts on long trips throught the mountains, and fresh seafood on the coast of the Atlantic. We have never been stronger.
7 years ago tonight I knew I was sitting next to the man I would marry and grow old with, tonight we sat at that same ice cream stand and watched our 6 year old son buy his girlfriend an ice cream sundae. (his was a chocolate chip cookie dough single scoop in a waffle bowl with hot fudge, whipped cream, sprinkles, and a cherry....hers was the same, but coffee chocolate chip yogurt....Christopher paid with cash, and gave his baby sister his cherry) Tonight I sat with this sweet, shy, sexy, slightly older amazing man...the man I am lucky enough to call my husband. I had peach yogurt, he had a chocolate shake...our baby girl had a dinosaur cookie and ice cream with spinkles and whipped cream. We talked about the last 7 years, and the next 7 to come....our baby boy will enter his teens, our baby girl will enter her double digits, we will sell the house, we will see sea world, disney, and many other fmaily vacations. We will insulate laci's room with sound deadener, and buy her a phone plan with unlimited minutes, and we will laugh, and cry...a lot. We will have some death's, some bad ones...some that will rock our worlds to the core...we may have a wedding, and who knows, maybe a baby! We will see countless dogs, and maybe a car or two. We will grow more, change more, and become so much closer again....but one thing wont change, and thats how much I love my husband and my kids. Tonght we celebrate 7 years....I hope God sees fit to give me another 7.
♥
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Hello again Monday....
Up making pancakes this morning for a house full of sleeping people....Christopher woke up a while ago but went back to his room, and Joey and Laci are both out still. I am worn out from the weekend but I still have a ton to do. We are working on the yard a little to get it better suited for us and the kids to spend quiet time out back with them. I managed to find a swing set (well an A-frame with 4 swings) on craigslist for 100.00 and Brian went yesterday and dug it out of the ground for 2 hours and brought it here and now today we have to attempt to get it back together and in the ground. It isnt much but its some swings and the kids will like it! I was shocked to see the price of wood playsets....START at 400.00 and go pretty much up to 25,000.00. Some people have more money than they know what to do with I think....but I am happy my kids got some swings. I also got them a sandbox off craigslist for 20.00, and some sand from Home Depot so they will have a sandbox again finally too. :) (now if I can just keep clover out of it! LOL!!)
The weekend went by in a blur. Saturday we attempted to go to the lake with the kids and that lasted all of about 2 hours because we chose Galt's and it was *packed!* and the mexican couple having sex in the corner of the roped off swim area was more than irritating, so we chose to leave. We went home and did some cleaning up and let the kids play in the pool, and just relaxed after that, then yesterday most the day was either running errands or Brian digging that swingset up. Joey came over and spent the night which was so awesome! He says he wants to come again this weekend for the 4th of July fireworks show with me and Brian and the kids, but I will believe it when I see it, lol! It was nice having him here just once, even if its 9am and he is still asleep! Ha!
This week will be pretty chill. I have a playdate with Ansley and her mom on Wednesday, and Friday I have plans with Brooke, but for the most part I just want to relax and catch my breath as this month is flying by and I am a little overwhelmed with how much has gone on.
Oh, and the best part of this weekend? We got our new SUV! Yay! Our red hot 2001 Blazer! It has some stuff we have to get fixed on it, but she is a beauty! I am very pleased with it and hopefully this one will last a bit longer now! :)
Welp, I am going to go start my day of relaxing by laying pine straw in the front yard, and hauling 50 pound bags of sand down the hill and cleaning the back yard...LOL!
26 more days til VACATION!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!
The weekend went by in a blur. Saturday we attempted to go to the lake with the kids and that lasted all of about 2 hours because we chose Galt's and it was *packed!* and the mexican couple having sex in the corner of the roped off swim area was more than irritating, so we chose to leave. We went home and did some cleaning up and let the kids play in the pool, and just relaxed after that, then yesterday most the day was either running errands or Brian digging that swingset up. Joey came over and spent the night which was so awesome! He says he wants to come again this weekend for the 4th of July fireworks show with me and Brian and the kids, but I will believe it when I see it, lol! It was nice having him here just once, even if its 9am and he is still asleep! Ha!
This week will be pretty chill. I have a playdate with Ansley and her mom on Wednesday, and Friday I have plans with Brooke, but for the most part I just want to relax and catch my breath as this month is flying by and I am a little overwhelmed with how much has gone on.
Oh, and the best part of this weekend? We got our new SUV! Yay! Our red hot 2001 Blazer! It has some stuff we have to get fixed on it, but she is a beauty! I am very pleased with it and hopefully this one will last a bit longer now! :)
Welp, I am going to go start my day of relaxing by laying pine straw in the front yard, and hauling 50 pound bags of sand down the hill and cleaning the back yard...LOL!
26 more days til VACATION!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Just thinking and remembering today....
Concrete Angel
She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh
The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born
Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel
Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late
Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel
A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot
Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel
~Martina McBride
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Thursday!
Today is the last day of the 30s in our countdown to Vacation! I am rediculously excited to get away from life for a few days! I am burnt! I spent another 4 hours at the lake yesterday with the kids, and even though I managed to keep them from burning (again) I am deffinately not wanting a whole lot of sun today...as a matter of fact I would really REALLY like to see a few days of rain. I need to re-charge my batteries! My nose is burning this morning. I picked some dry sunburned skin off the end of it and now its on fire! I have an ice cube wrapped in a paper towel next to me to apply to it every few minutes. The kids are having a quiet morning, thank God! They are eating some pringles and watching Sesame Street while I get some online stuff done. I found a park in Roswell that has some fountains apparently next to to the Chattahoochee, but I cant get a whole lot of info on it online. I am hoping to go check it out in the morning.
Still no car...still waiting on the total loss department to cut us a check...still irritated with the way things have gone during this accident business. But, I guess it could be worse! I still have my baby girl, and my husband and thats the only thing that really matters to me. <3 We are looking at the late 90's Expeditions, Durango's and Tahoe's as possible replacement cars...only time will tell what we end up with.
I had a great time at the lake yesterday with Jennifer and her son Jonathan. We went to Galt's Ferry for the first time in over a year and I love it there....I forgot how nice it was, but did not miss the crowds after 12 noon. Wow! Deffinately the place to go from 8am to 1pm but not after! Gah! Looking foward to going again soon...but not for now...my body needs to cool down from the sunburn! My friends have dubbed me Red Lobsta! LMAO!
Welp, I guess I better get to gettin' since I have laundry and stuff to do, and to get my spaghetti sauce on and enjoy yet another day with my 2 awesome kids. :)
Still no car...still waiting on the total loss department to cut us a check...still irritated with the way things have gone during this accident business. But, I guess it could be worse! I still have my baby girl, and my husband and thats the only thing that really matters to me. <3 We are looking at the late 90's Expeditions, Durango's and Tahoe's as possible replacement cars...only time will tell what we end up with.
I had a great time at the lake yesterday with Jennifer and her son Jonathan. We went to Galt's Ferry for the first time in over a year and I love it there....I forgot how nice it was, but did not miss the crowds after 12 noon. Wow! Deffinately the place to go from 8am to 1pm but not after! Gah! Looking foward to going again soon...but not for now...my body needs to cool down from the sunburn! My friends have dubbed me Red Lobsta! LMAO!
Welp, I guess I better get to gettin' since I have laundry and stuff to do, and to get my spaghetti sauce on and enjoy yet another day with my 2 awesome kids. :)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Burnt!
5 hours at the lake with the kids and we are all Krispy Kritters! LOL! It was a good day at the lake yesterday though, and even though we all came home rather lobster-esque, we all had a great time. Me and the kids got there around 11:15, Tiffany and her kids aroung 1:00, and then we stayed til almost 4:00! I got us home, lotioned the kids with an aloe soothing cooling lotion, and then made dinner. The kids were in bed early, and me and Brian watched "The Wolfman" til 11:00pm, and then it was bedtime. Today is set up to be another hot one, and I am sitting here thinking of what we can do that wont involve burning anymore, but not sit in the house all day. I am thinking Sprinkler now, and then maybe a relaxing day inside after....
I am so glad this month is winding down now. This has been a crazy month and I am ready to get on with July. I am excited for our vacation, and I am happy Brian gets a week off work, I am also anxious to see who Christopher will have for a teacher next year and who will be in his class, and I am looking foward to the 4th of July and all the fun we will have as well as Brian and my birthdays and our anniversary and the many happy times ahead! Come on July!! :)
For now I guess I should start working on a plan for this weekend and start my packing list! :)
Happy Tuesday!!
I am so glad this month is winding down now. This has been a crazy month and I am ready to get on with July. I am excited for our vacation, and I am happy Brian gets a week off work, I am also anxious to see who Christopher will have for a teacher next year and who will be in his class, and I am looking foward to the 4th of July and all the fun we will have as well as Brian and my birthdays and our anniversary and the many happy times ahead! Come on July!! :)
For now I guess I should start working on a plan for this weekend and start my packing list! :)
Happy Tuesday!!
Monday, June 21, 2010
HAPPY SUMMER!!!
Yay! Its officially the first day of summer...fall is coming! LOL!!! We had a wonderful amazing Father's day! I felt horrible because I didn't even get Brian a card or have the kids make him one, but he said he gets cards and letters and pictures from his kids and me every day of the week and that isnt whats important to him, he said he would have rather had the day we had yesterday than anything else on earth...and at the end of the day I told him I would have rather have been on that river with him and the kids than anywhere else on earth. The river was great! The kids did an amazing job and were so funny! I am so glad we waited til Laci was over 3 before going, we seen too many kids way too young on the river screaming in fear or misery or both. The river was a lot more difficult to get down than I remembered as a kid, lol, and by the end of the day me and Brian were exhausted and sore, but we laughed big heavy laughs out loud and the kids had a great time and I was shocked that in one of the deep areas Christopher hopped out to swim for a few minutes...Laci wasnt swimming, it was too cold for her liking, but she did great too, almost falling asleep multiple times...even people floating by were amazed she was half asleep holding on to her float handle. It was great! We did have a loss though...we came to the "tree of lost soles" that had flip flops nailed all to it that had been lost over the years by floaters and I went to get my double ziplocked bagged camera out of my carry on bag and pulled out a double bag of water with a camera floating in it. I was crushed! I tried not to let it ruin the day for me and smile on anyhow, but I am still very upset that I got no pictures on the river from our first time on it together as a family. I am still pretty upset this morning, but at least I have the memories of it and Brian said we will go again in a few weeks. The drive we thought would take 2.5 hours only ended up taking me an hour and 15 minutes and we only used a 1/4 tank of gas there and back, so really it is a very doable couple time a year event! :) We didnt waste time at the shops and stuff in Helen bc it was 98* and we just headed home after our picnic lunch under the big trees (trees that were shedding yellow and orange leaves....gotta love the GA Mountains...its always fall!) and then swam in the river for a few. On the way home we stopped at Dairy Queen for some ice cream, and then came home exhausted! Me and Brian were in bed by 9:30 and the kids by 8:00. It was a great day!
Saturday was fun too, we decided to do some errands in the morning, and then Francis called and asked if we were home bc they were in our area, so we headed back home and had a spur the moment BBQ and let all the kids play in the kiddie pool. They stayed til almost 6:20 and we had a wonderful time.
All in all this has been an incredible wonderful memory packed weekend that I couldnt have made any more perfect if I tried. I am so glad I have Brian and the kids and my perfect little family. I am always happy as long as I am with them. <3
Happy first day of Summer!!
Saturday was fun too, we decided to do some errands in the morning, and then Francis called and asked if we were home bc they were in our area, so we headed back home and had a spur the moment BBQ and let all the kids play in the kiddie pool. They stayed til almost 6:20 and we had a wonderful time.
All in all this has been an incredible wonderful memory packed weekend that I couldnt have made any more perfect if I tried. I am so glad I have Brian and the kids and my perfect little family. I am always happy as long as I am with them. <3
Happy first day of Summer!!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Weekend is here!
Thank GOD its the weekend! Of course, thanks to my mom reminding me I lost a week being sick I found out YESTERDAY that this weekend is Father's day....NOT next weekend as I thought...why did I think it was the 12th? What is wrong with my head? LOL! Oh well. Luckily Brian knows money is tight and is ok with the quickie plans we made to take the kids to Helen, Ga for the day and go TUBING! I am so excited! The kids are going to have a blast and Brian can have a nice relaxing day and we can be together as a family doing what we do best, being a family. :) Its about a 2 hour drive, but will be well worth it. I am a little nervous about Clover being crated all day but sometimes thats the way it has to be for a dog, it sucks, but its only about 7 hours...he will be ok. The kids have been looking at pics online of the tubing there and are both ready to go! I have to go today and get some boat shoes for myself (I would have needed them for Murphy anyhow) and the kids can both wear their sandles since they strap on their feet, and Brian has to get some kind of shoes too. I also need some squirt bottles and a pack to hold everything safely. I am going to bring the small camera in a ziplock bag and pray it doesnt end up in the water.
My Mom, Steve, and Joey are gone for the next 10 days....I was relieved when she texted me she got in ok last night. I am sure they will have a blast, but I am still going to miss them. Its wierd being so far away from them like this and for so long! I am happy for them though, they all deserve this trip and in the end I know it will be great and hopfully they will come home happy and relaxed. The following weekend (the 2st and 3nd) the kids are staying friday night, and all day Saturday with them so me and Brian can celebrate our 7 years together! We are going to go for ice cream in the same place we went 7 years ago, and I will have the peach yogurt and he will have the chocolate milk shake and we will sit on the bench like we did what seems like decades ago. Then we are thinking of going to the lake if it isnt too late, then the next morning we are going to go to the Farmer's Market here in Canton. Of course, while typing this I realize that Brian is supposed to work that Saturday so it looks like those plans are shot....bleh! Oh well, what a nice thought though....
Oh well, today si Saturday. Brian is out mowing the grass and then he will shower and we will all go to the mall to bring back some shorts of Brian's and get an ice cream with the kids. Then its Target and home. This afternoon I am grilling and the kids will play in the kiddie pool...and maybe I will too. Ha!
Happy Saturday everyone! Hope you have a great Father's day! (especially if you werent so sick you missed a whole week from registering in your head! LOL!!!)
My Mom, Steve, and Joey are gone for the next 10 days....I was relieved when she texted me she got in ok last night. I am sure they will have a blast, but I am still going to miss them. Its wierd being so far away from them like this and for so long! I am happy for them though, they all deserve this trip and in the end I know it will be great and hopfully they will come home happy and relaxed. The following weekend (the 2st and 3nd) the kids are staying friday night, and all day Saturday with them so me and Brian can celebrate our 7 years together! We are going to go for ice cream in the same place we went 7 years ago, and I will have the peach yogurt and he will have the chocolate milk shake and we will sit on the bench like we did what seems like decades ago. Then we are thinking of going to the lake if it isnt too late, then the next morning we are going to go to the Farmer's Market here in Canton. Of course, while typing this I realize that Brian is supposed to work that Saturday so it looks like those plans are shot....bleh! Oh well, what a nice thought though....
Oh well, today si Saturday. Brian is out mowing the grass and then he will shower and we will all go to the mall to bring back some shorts of Brian's and get an ice cream with the kids. Then its Target and home. This afternoon I am grilling and the kids will play in the kiddie pool...and maybe I will too. Ha!
Happy Saturday everyone! Hope you have a great Father's day! (especially if you werent so sick you missed a whole week from registering in your head! LOL!!!)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
My Kids....
My kids are incredible. My kids are the most sweetest, sensitive, loving, children I have ever been so blessed to meet. My kids are smart, funny, witty, intelligent, compassionate, and loving. My kids love hard without knowing not to. My kids are innocent, and joyful. My kids are the center of my entire universe. My kids mean more to me than my very life, which I would gladly without a second thought hand over today for either of them. My kids have hearts, big sweet, soft hearts that are hurt easily. I will do anything I can to protect those hearts, but as life goes, both will still endure plenty of heartache and pain....but if I can help keep even one ounce of it from them, I will. I have 2 of the most incredible kids ever. They make me laugh great big belly laughs almost daily, even on some of my darkest of days, my kids make me smile.Anyone who has my children in their life should consider themselves lucky.
Laci cried when I switched "Faith" from our car to Adrienne's car on Saturday morning...she said "where my new doggie going? I love her!!!" with tears welling up in her eyes....even after explaining that this dog that she had only met 30 minutes earlier was very very hurt and had to go to the "puppy doctor" she was still broken hearted. Everyone is Laci's best friend. She tells me "I wub you mama" when I need to hear it most without ever asking her to say it to me.
Christopher is my love baby. He loves everyone with every ounce his heart can love with. He loves animals, he loves people, he loves holidays, seasons, parties, stores, he loves life. He cries when he has hurt someone and cries harder when he has been hurt. He wants to "give me some love" all the time, which usually invloves him climbing up in my lap with his head on my shoulder just quietly having some hug time. He tells me he loves me 1000 times a day, and means it with all he is every single time.
My kids are funny, they make jokes above their age, and thei laugh is addicting. I could happily hear only that sound for the rest of my life. They are my adventurers, my 2 in tow that always are up for a good time and something new. I view them as my best friends in the world. I know that over the years our relationship will change on some levels, but I vow to do everything I can to keep their trust and faith in me and for us to continue to be best friends.
I just wanted to take a moment today to let anyone know how very very special my children are, and how much they mean to me, and how much of a loss it is to not have them in your life. My kids have never done anything to anyone in their whole lives worth writing them off, yet they have been by many people....and that is their loss, not my kids' loss.....life without my children is very colorless and very sad, and anyone who hasnt kept them in their hearts enough to be effected by them not being in their life is losing out on some truly amazing little spirits, I thank God every day for blessing me with them both.
Off for today...I am very sick to my stomach. Will update on my awesome night last night and "Faith" tomorrow.
Laci cried when I switched "Faith" from our car to Adrienne's car on Saturday morning...she said "where my new doggie going? I love her!!!" with tears welling up in her eyes....even after explaining that this dog that she had only met 30 minutes earlier was very very hurt and had to go to the "puppy doctor" she was still broken hearted. Everyone is Laci's best friend. She tells me "I wub you mama" when I need to hear it most without ever asking her to say it to me.
Christopher is my love baby. He loves everyone with every ounce his heart can love with. He loves animals, he loves people, he loves holidays, seasons, parties, stores, he loves life. He cries when he has hurt someone and cries harder when he has been hurt. He wants to "give me some love" all the time, which usually invloves him climbing up in my lap with his head on my shoulder just quietly having some hug time. He tells me he loves me 1000 times a day, and means it with all he is every single time.
My kids are funny, they make jokes above their age, and thei laugh is addicting. I could happily hear only that sound for the rest of my life. They are my adventurers, my 2 in tow that always are up for a good time and something new. I view them as my best friends in the world. I know that over the years our relationship will change on some levels, but I vow to do everything I can to keep their trust and faith in me and for us to continue to be best friends.
I just wanted to take a moment today to let anyone know how very very special my children are, and how much they mean to me, and how much of a loss it is to not have them in your life. My kids have never done anything to anyone in their whole lives worth writing them off, yet they have been by many people....and that is their loss, not my kids' loss.....life without my children is very colorless and very sad, and anyone who hasnt kept them in their hearts enough to be effected by them not being in their life is losing out on some truly amazing little spirits, I thank God every day for blessing me with them both.
Off for today...I am very sick to my stomach. Will update on my awesome night last night and "Faith" tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
What a week!
So we started with the horrific death of our baby, Cupid, last week. A shocking, horrifying, gives me nightmares kind of death that was so unexpected it rocked our worlds and shook us down and was so hard to come to terms with. Even now I for a moment think I see him drinking from the pond out front, or see him sitting on my fence, or expect him to jump up and sit on my bathtub when I am taking a bath....just for a second....before that horrible truth sets in all over again.
Then we finally start "moving on" in life, the crying coming from my baby boy's room at night stopped, and life got a little bit normal for us again. Saturday I decide to take the kids to the mall. We werent going to eat lunch, but the kids were hungry so we decided to eat anyhow. We went to subway, the whole mall was hot with people and it being almost 100* outside and I thought a cold sandwich might hit the spot. We ate our sandwiches, me a cold cut combo, and the kids both a ham and cheese (I.E one slice of ham and cheese...gotta love kids portions.) Christopher decided to drink and entire bottle of chocolate milk with his sandwhich. We got done and started to clean up and christopher felt sick to his stomach from the milk. I started walking with them hoping his belly would settle and all would be good...well all was NOT good....about 10 feet from one of the garbage cans when he clapped his hand over his mouth and his cheeks blew up like a chipmunk. Vomit sprayed out all over his face, shirt, hands, and dripped down his elbows. I ran him to the garbage can, he unloaded his mouth into it and the rest of his stomach. I ran back and for trying to get him napkins form the cookie company that was a few yards away, trying to get him as clean as possible. Then it was back to the bathrooms in the food court to wash up, and then it was home. He felt fine after that, and later that embarassing moment would save him from the illness bewing in me and Laci.
Saturday night I stayed up getting ready for my ARF event on Sunday, excited to finally be working something for SCGSDR. About midnight I started wrapping everything up and then Laci started crying....she had thrown up all over her bed....and floor...and self. Into the shower she went while brian cleaned the bed. She continued to throw up all night long, but by morning she was pretty good, and although not hungry feeling fine. Thats about the time it hit me....in all its severity. I was so sick. I spent the next 48+ hours vomitting, sweating, cramping, aching, and once passing out in the bathroom. That almost landed me in the hospital. I woke up thinking I had to vomit, got to the toilet and sat down....then something started not feeling right. My head got swimmy and felt like it was all bloated up. My arms and legs went numb, my vision got cloudy and bright, my heart started poudning really hard and my breathing got shallow....i started panting...then the awful sound of Kaitydids filled my bathroom....buzzzzz buzzzzz buzzzzzzz growing loud and dying down again....I gagged...rolled my head...tried to call for brian but found I couldnt speak. The sweating kicked in....I felt it running off my face and back, seen it welling up on mt thighs and running down...I blinked...panted...blinked....opened my eyes and I was laying back against the wall, legs straight out in front of me. I had passed out. My light blue shirt was now dark blue with sweat, my whole body, even my mouth, numb and tingly like it had fallen asleep. I called for brian, screamed for him....I couldnt get up I was so weak. He came running in. He freaked out, wanted to call 911, but I said no. I just needed to be cooled down. He stripped off my soaked clothes and got me to my feet and to the bed. I fell asleep for a good hour then.....then I woke up....that terrible numbness coming back to me....I cried "oh my God please no, not again!" I staggered to the bathroom and hit the floor....I pleaded with God to please let this pass....thankfully it did....I ended up not going to the hospital. I stayed sick all day long Sunday, and Monday. Then last night Brian went to my moms to get an A/C unit from her and on the way home a guy was making a UTurn in the middle of a busy 2 lane road close to my moms house, Brian tried to dodge him, even driving into the oncoming traffic lane (it was thankfully empty at the moment) but the collision still happened. The Chrysler SUV plowed into the side of the car that my baby girl was sitting in. Not 18 inches from where she was in her carseat. Brian called me and I came woozy and wobbley with Christopher to come get them. I was so scared. I got there and I said to the cop "my baby girl is in that car, I have to go to it" and he said "not anymore, she is gone" I half yelled at him "what???? gone WHERE????" and he said "her grandpa came and got her and took her home" Relief! She was ok! Brian was standing with the cop and the guy who hit them....I stared at the guy in horror of his stupidity and furiousness of hitting my car with my BABY in it!!! I was so mad I wanted to scream at him, to punch him in the nose, to cuss him like the moron he was for taking such a STUPID risk that could have hurt my baby. I was so mad....but I just stood there. After we were done writing it all up and getting stuff from the car, we were allowed to leave. I went to my moms house and just held Laci in my arms, she hugged me back, and we just stayed like that for a good 5 minutes in the front seat of the corrolla. Then we all went home. We stopped and got some Chicken for dinner, and went home and ate and then got them in bed.
What a night, what a weekend, what a week! Ugh! I am hoping this is the end of the crap storm for us for a while now. I just need a break from life in general. I will be getting that break in about 38 more days! We are finally in the 30s for our countdown to our mountain vacation! I am so excited and really really looking foward to it. I have no idea if the Durango will live through the accident, its at a tow yard now and will be going to a shop by tomorrow. Hopefully I will get into a rental by tomorrow as well. We shall see. Until then we will just play the wait and see game.
For now I am off to do something around my house since I woke up not wanting to barf today....thats always a good thing! I will talk about "Faith" the GSD tomorrow, since I am all typed out today!
Then we finally start "moving on" in life, the crying coming from my baby boy's room at night stopped, and life got a little bit normal for us again. Saturday I decide to take the kids to the mall. We werent going to eat lunch, but the kids were hungry so we decided to eat anyhow. We went to subway, the whole mall was hot with people and it being almost 100* outside and I thought a cold sandwich might hit the spot. We ate our sandwiches, me a cold cut combo, and the kids both a ham and cheese (I.E one slice of ham and cheese...gotta love kids portions.) Christopher decided to drink and entire bottle of chocolate milk with his sandwhich. We got done and started to clean up and christopher felt sick to his stomach from the milk. I started walking with them hoping his belly would settle and all would be good...well all was NOT good....about 10 feet from one of the garbage cans when he clapped his hand over his mouth and his cheeks blew up like a chipmunk. Vomit sprayed out all over his face, shirt, hands, and dripped down his elbows. I ran him to the garbage can, he unloaded his mouth into it and the rest of his stomach. I ran back and for trying to get him napkins form the cookie company that was a few yards away, trying to get him as clean as possible. Then it was back to the bathrooms in the food court to wash up, and then it was home. He felt fine after that, and later that embarassing moment would save him from the illness bewing in me and Laci.
Saturday night I stayed up getting ready for my ARF event on Sunday, excited to finally be working something for SCGSDR. About midnight I started wrapping everything up and then Laci started crying....she had thrown up all over her bed....and floor...and self. Into the shower she went while brian cleaned the bed. She continued to throw up all night long, but by morning she was pretty good, and although not hungry feeling fine. Thats about the time it hit me....in all its severity. I was so sick. I spent the next 48+ hours vomitting, sweating, cramping, aching, and once passing out in the bathroom. That almost landed me in the hospital. I woke up thinking I had to vomit, got to the toilet and sat down....then something started not feeling right. My head got swimmy and felt like it was all bloated up. My arms and legs went numb, my vision got cloudy and bright, my heart started poudning really hard and my breathing got shallow....i started panting...then the awful sound of Kaitydids filled my bathroom....buzzzzz buzzzzz buzzzzzzz growing loud and dying down again....I gagged...rolled my head...tried to call for brian but found I couldnt speak. The sweating kicked in....I felt it running off my face and back, seen it welling up on mt thighs and running down...I blinked...panted...blinked....opened my eyes and I was laying back against the wall, legs straight out in front of me. I had passed out. My light blue shirt was now dark blue with sweat, my whole body, even my mouth, numb and tingly like it had fallen asleep. I called for brian, screamed for him....I couldnt get up I was so weak. He came running in. He freaked out, wanted to call 911, but I said no. I just needed to be cooled down. He stripped off my soaked clothes and got me to my feet and to the bed. I fell asleep for a good hour then.....then I woke up....that terrible numbness coming back to me....I cried "oh my God please no, not again!" I staggered to the bathroom and hit the floor....I pleaded with God to please let this pass....thankfully it did....I ended up not going to the hospital. I stayed sick all day long Sunday, and Monday. Then last night Brian went to my moms to get an A/C unit from her and on the way home a guy was making a UTurn in the middle of a busy 2 lane road close to my moms house, Brian tried to dodge him, even driving into the oncoming traffic lane (it was thankfully empty at the moment) but the collision still happened. The Chrysler SUV plowed into the side of the car that my baby girl was sitting in. Not 18 inches from where she was in her carseat. Brian called me and I came woozy and wobbley with Christopher to come get them. I was so scared. I got there and I said to the cop "my baby girl is in that car, I have to go to it" and he said "not anymore, she is gone" I half yelled at him "what???? gone WHERE????" and he said "her grandpa came and got her and took her home" Relief! She was ok! Brian was standing with the cop and the guy who hit them....I stared at the guy in horror of his stupidity and furiousness of hitting my car with my BABY in it!!! I was so mad I wanted to scream at him, to punch him in the nose, to cuss him like the moron he was for taking such a STUPID risk that could have hurt my baby. I was so mad....but I just stood there. After we were done writing it all up and getting stuff from the car, we were allowed to leave. I went to my moms house and just held Laci in my arms, she hugged me back, and we just stayed like that for a good 5 minutes in the front seat of the corrolla. Then we all went home. We stopped and got some Chicken for dinner, and went home and ate and then got them in bed.
What a night, what a weekend, what a week! Ugh! I am hoping this is the end of the crap storm for us for a while now. I just need a break from life in general. I will be getting that break in about 38 more days! We are finally in the 30s for our countdown to our mountain vacation! I am so excited and really really looking foward to it. I have no idea if the Durango will live through the accident, its at a tow yard now and will be going to a shop by tomorrow. Hopefully I will get into a rental by tomorrow as well. We shall see. Until then we will just play the wait and see game.
For now I am off to do something around my house since I woke up not wanting to barf today....thats always a good thing! I will talk about "Faith" the GSD tomorrow, since I am all typed out today!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Slow burn of summer...
Has officially kicked in. Wednesday I worked at my friend Francis' house helping her make some headway in her garage so it can become her "storage shed" now for packed boxes and things to donate/sell/give away. It was a gruelling 6 hours in a hot humid 90* garage. God was nice enough to let it rain for a whopping 45 seconds which only made it a steam bath...love his sense of humor! ;) I went home battered, sore, and ready for bed....buuuut bed didnt happen. Instead we packed up the kids and went to the lake...to fish and swim! I am no good at lake fishing...it confuses me, I dont know what kind of fish I am dealing with and it takes a LOT longer to do it. I used hotdog and waited and waited and waited....I had three people staring and waiting for something to happen which only increased my pressure....and then it happened! The bobber went under and I had a fish! a BIG ONE! I reeled and reeled and then it came at me in the water (I was waist deep) and I started walking to shore. It was at LEAST a 3 pound catfish! The kids squeeled with delight and Brian was quite impressed I landed such a whopper. I got some pics, and we set him free. (Even though Brian wanted to eat it). I was excited, but the kids were done and I was forced to go home just when the thrill kicked in.
Yesterday was the first day we did *nothing* all day long. I worked on school stuff with the kids, cleaned, and even took a nap in the afternoon! Brian treated me to enchiladas for dinner and the night ended with me surfing Netflix and him watching a terribly sad movie. (The Road)
This morning I am up, I am sore still, and I am ready for life again. Brian is working in Cumming so he took Christopher to his grandparents house for the day. Me and Laci are meeting Francis and going to the lake this morning to swim, then I am coming home around1:00. I have to finish some laundry and stuff, then tonight I am going to dinner and shopping with my mom for some stuff for her trip to California. I am glad to see her. Its been lonely family wise for me lately. Feels like I dont have a whole lot left, and its finally starting to take its toll on me. I am excited to go laugh and blow off some time with her and I know shopping for her is always a blast! (She is as easy to dress as Barbie!)
I am gonna go now, bc I am supposed to be at the lake in one hour!
Yesterday was the first day we did *nothing* all day long. I worked on school stuff with the kids, cleaned, and even took a nap in the afternoon! Brian treated me to enchiladas for dinner and the night ended with me surfing Netflix and him watching a terribly sad movie. (The Road)
This morning I am up, I am sore still, and I am ready for life again. Brian is working in Cumming so he took Christopher to his grandparents house for the day. Me and Laci are meeting Francis and going to the lake this morning to swim, then I am coming home around1:00. I have to finish some laundry and stuff, then tonight I am going to dinner and shopping with my mom for some stuff for her trip to California. I am glad to see her. Its been lonely family wise for me lately. Feels like I dont have a whole lot left, and its finally starting to take its toll on me. I am excited to go laugh and blow off some time with her and I know shopping for her is always a blast! (She is as easy to dress as Barbie!)
I am gonna go now, bc I am supposed to be at the lake in one hour!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
So tired!!!!
Up til 4am unable to sleep after my caramel frappe from mcdonalds at 9pm (think coffee and ice cream). I am obviously getting older and now caffiene has a very real effect on me at night. Add that to the heartburn and real need for sleep after spending 5 hours in the garage alone yesterday moving cabinets, huge cubby holes, shelves, tables, file cabinets and a million other things and then being up at 6:55am for the day and you have a real sore, tired momma on your hands! Ugh! Oh and dont forget that we finished the day at the lake yesterday grilling burgers and swimming til almost 7pm....man I am so tired!!!
Today is going to be a veg out day. I am going to work on some stuff in the garage (paperwise) while the kids play outside. Later, my friend Brooke is supposed to come hang out with me and then tonight I am going to bed early! Period!
The rest of the week wont be as action packed as the first week of summer vacation was. Today is veggie day, tomorrow we are going to Francis' house to help her finish packing for her move, and Thursday we will attempt the lake again, then Friday I will take the kids to the mall to trapse around. Brian has to work on Saturday so I will need to come up with something to do with the kids, I am considering the zoo if it isnt too hot or raining, we havent been there since April now.
I really cant come up with a whole lot to talk about today mostly because my brain is all mushy from not sleeping worth a crap last night. The sky makes it look like its not very hot outside this morning, but I have a feeling its tricking me. LOL. Maybe for the hell of it I will take the kids to walk around Lowes this morning, I dont know, I hate not going anywhere all day....it makes the day drag by so bad....we will see.
On to another day!
Today is going to be a veg out day. I am going to work on some stuff in the garage (paperwise) while the kids play outside. Later, my friend Brooke is supposed to come hang out with me and then tonight I am going to bed early! Period!
The rest of the week wont be as action packed as the first week of summer vacation was. Today is veggie day, tomorrow we are going to Francis' house to help her finish packing for her move, and Thursday we will attempt the lake again, then Friday I will take the kids to the mall to trapse around. Brian has to work on Saturday so I will need to come up with something to do with the kids, I am considering the zoo if it isnt too hot or raining, we havent been there since April now.
I really cant come up with a whole lot to talk about today mostly because my brain is all mushy from not sleeping worth a crap last night. The sky makes it look like its not very hot outside this morning, but I have a feeling its tricking me. LOL. Maybe for the hell of it I will take the kids to walk around Lowes this morning, I dont know, I hate not going anywhere all day....it makes the day drag by so bad....we will see.
On to another day!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Trying to move on with life....
Its been hard for me the last few days. Thursday and Friday I felt like a shell really. Just aimless. Sad and crying constantly. I am not trying to move on from Cupid in general, just from the sadness. I am trying to remember all the quirky fun things about "Orange" and his love and the amount of happiness he brought me in my life. I stopped crying in front of the kids after Thursday night Christopher was "too sad to sleep" and crying anf sobbing and just a mess....seeing a 6 year old fall asleep from broken hearted tears was a bit more than I could handle...so it was sominex and a drink and off I was to sleep too. Its been quiet on the subject since Thursday, and I am ok with that. I dont want to talk about him, I dont want to realize by talking about him that I am in itself rememebering him, therefore rehashing him being dead all over again. I just want to hold him in my heart and never forget his sweet face.
The weekend went by quickly. I was going to try and go to the grand opening of the Canton Farmer's Market, but woke up just not feeling like being alone. And it was already too hot to have my kids walking through it. So we decided to make it a lake day instead. We went to Sweetwater and stayed there for hours. The kids had fun and we even got christopher (after 2 melt downs and fnially just going for it) to go under water. He also started working on swimming by playing in shallow water with no arm floats. He wont do it when its just me with them but he will work on it when dad is with us. We went home and cleaned the house that had taken a beating the last week and started catching up on laundry. We all called it an early night and soon we were asleep.
Yesterday went fast. We spent the entire day being lazy until about 2pm then we went to the grocery store. We had an early dinner and both kids were asleep by 7:45. I called it an early night too.
This morning has started off with Brian losing his wedding ring. He cannot remember where it is or where he took it off at. He is an hour late for work after searching everywhere and coming up empty handed. Its irritating and sad and I pray I find it today while he is gone. I have no idea what to do with the kids today. I am thinking of just cleaning the garage and getting stuff organized a little out there. I need to get some boxes to box up some books and get the closets in my house organized. I also have to start working on school stuff with Christopher and laci.
We are in the 40s now for vacation...47 days and a few hours to be exact. Today I am going to work on the 2 envelopes for saving money, one for the vacation and one for christopher's school stuff...and then after the vacation we will make a new one for Christmas since that is rolling back around quickly!
I am going to go for now, my throat is a little scratchy today and my belly sensitive, I am praying its not the beginning of something more than allergies.
The weekend went by quickly. I was going to try and go to the grand opening of the Canton Farmer's Market, but woke up just not feeling like being alone. And it was already too hot to have my kids walking through it. So we decided to make it a lake day instead. We went to Sweetwater and stayed there for hours. The kids had fun and we even got christopher (after 2 melt downs and fnially just going for it) to go under water. He also started working on swimming by playing in shallow water with no arm floats. He wont do it when its just me with them but he will work on it when dad is with us. We went home and cleaned the house that had taken a beating the last week and started catching up on laundry. We all called it an early night and soon we were asleep.
Yesterday went fast. We spent the entire day being lazy until about 2pm then we went to the grocery store. We had an early dinner and both kids were asleep by 7:45. I called it an early night too.
This morning has started off with Brian losing his wedding ring. He cannot remember where it is or where he took it off at. He is an hour late for work after searching everywhere and coming up empty handed. Its irritating and sad and I pray I find it today while he is gone. I have no idea what to do with the kids today. I am thinking of just cleaning the garage and getting stuff organized a little out there. I need to get some boxes to box up some books and get the closets in my house organized. I also have to start working on school stuff with Christopher and laci.
We are in the 40s now for vacation...47 days and a few hours to be exact. Today I am going to work on the 2 envelopes for saving money, one for the vacation and one for christopher's school stuff...and then after the vacation we will make a new one for Christmas since that is rolling back around quickly!
I am going to go for now, my throat is a little scratchy today and my belly sensitive, I am praying its not the beginning of something more than allergies.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Rest In Peace Sweet Cupid
2005-2010
It hurts too bad to even write up a story on my sweet kitty this morning...such a sudden loss, so unexpected, such a great spirit to lose. Rest in Peace Cupid, I know you will be waiting at the bridge for me one day.
I love you so very very much
~Mommy
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