My babies are growing up way too fast all of a sudden. What seemed like eternity to get to, has suddenly sprang to our feet in a blink of an eye. I have had more than a few heavy sobbing can't breathe, head pounding cries already and I have a feeling tomorrow will suck. Brian has to work but has permission to go in late to be able to see Laci off into her first day of school. Christopher begins class changing and homework for the year and just like that, the new year has started rolling...and will likely roll quickly into the next month, season, and eventual year. Its dawning on me that life somehow got by while we were wishing for the next thing. It's funny how that happens. I swear I was just telling my mom on the back patio that I was pregnant with Christopher, and I was just registering for a baby shower with Laci, and I was just coming home with her from the hospital. And wasn't I just making cupcakes for Christopher's pre-k graduation? And going to his first open house? Didn't laci just take her first steps and we realized all hell was about to break loose? What happened? Where are my tiny babies? My boy is 7! Seven! He loves star wars, plays a DS, laughs at all the right jokes on MadTv, and can stay up til 11pm on Saturday night....he is in second grade...and can read whole books to me, and do double digit math addition. My baby, my little girl, she pairs color matching jewelry to her outfits, she wants a pink rifle, she loves shopping at the mall, and plays barbies. She can sing, and dance, and is starting Pre-K in the morning. I am confused. When did I end up standing on the side of this road, waving goodbye as I packed lunches and fixed booboos? Suddenly my life is in a different place...and for a change its me scared to open my door and wanting a light on. It's scary in this new place, this place where my kids grow up and I am left wanting to watch Sesame Street one more time and rock someone to sleep. But ready or not, here it comes....and starting tomorrow I enter the next phase of my life. The phase where I am the stay at home mom of two school aged children, where I cook and clean all inside the quiet place in my head, the phase where I watch the clock waiting to see my babies again all day, and where the house stays clean for more than 15 minutes at a time, and I long for a mess, or a spilled cup of juice, or someone needing me for something. Tomorrow begins a change in my life, and I don't like change anymore. Tomorrow I watch my baby boy jump out of my car and wave as he walks into school wearing his size 2 shoes, and big bookbag, hair spiked up and some shirt that screams silly young boy instead of Thomas or Power Rangers, then I take my baby girl, in my head still wrapped in her lady bug blanket, smiling and cooing on her pink cupcake boppy, and open my door and take my 4 year old silly, spunky, diva by the hand and walk her into class, where she will run to her friend and want to play and wave goodbye....and I will surely cry again. Tomorrow my whole world shifts again....and ready or not, here it comes.....too bad I'm not ready.
Happy Sunday....enjoy every second, because in a second, it will be Monday.
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