Welcome Home Mommy!

I came home yesterday to flowers, balloons on the mailbox, and home made cards....

I am the luckiest Mommy and Wife in the world!! :)

I couldnt sleep well while I was in Daytona because of all the stress with the house and everything here at the house. All 3 nights I tossed and turned and kept in my thoughts for most of the night...the last night was no different. was up at 4am and by 5 knew I wasnt going back to sleep. So I got dressed and was on the highway by 5:28am. I was home in 6 hours and 15 mins...likely my quickest time yet, even though I dont think I ever went above 85. Wierd.

I got home and my kids came running down the driveway to me and I knew that I cant do this anymore. I cant leave my kids and husband like that. I miss them too much. When I was a kid, my mom would take solo trips to daytona with and without us kids and it was because Dave was an S.O.B who didnt go b/c he sucked...but Brian deserves to go. He needs a break as badly in life as I do sometimes, and we need each other. So from now on I will only be in Daytona with them. It makes my heart happy to even type that out, so I know its the right choice. :)

My trip was nice. It had some great moments and some that will be hard to forget. Sitting in the gazeebo and watching my grandma cut my grandpa's hair was likely my favorite moment, and we all know the worst of them. :( My heart hurts bad to type that... I can say this, that no matter how hard any one link tries, in the end, the family chain is only as strong as its weakest link. And I am honest and never two faced, and what you get with me is 100% all the time. I have learned that about 98% of people in the world cannot handle pure raw honesty. Honesty that does not come in name calling, or back handed ways. I know my feelings, and my emotions, and I dont feel I need to ever justify my heart to anyone. That doesnt make me dramatic...it just makes me real. I am not angry but I am hurt. I am am sorry that some of my family didnt feel it was neccesary to say good bye to me knowing it was the last time they'd see me til at least July...but as I watched them pull out from the parking lot I knew where I stood and what my position in this family chain was. I need to work on my home here. I am not a sad or angry person. I am happy with my life and happy with the hand that God has dealt me. No one has to wait to see if I am ever happy...because I have been...for a very long time now. It doesnt take money, or gifts, or even the approval of a parent to make me happy. It takes love. And I have more than my fair share of that in my home. And I couldnt be any happier. This is the typed word, and has no way of expressing tone. This is not aimed at anyone in particular, it is onlt getting my feelings and thoughts out on virtual paper so I can try to move past this, as everyone knows I also dont hold grudges with those who dont deserve it. So take it all with a grain of salt. Remember, this is my Diary. No one knows the true meaning and tone of each typed word but me. So please make no assumptions as to what this entry means. I love you all and that will never change.

Now comes the next hurdle. We are selling, and we have 17 days left to do so! I am not doing too much this week until wednesday when our contract become Bonded and I know 100% that they are serious. Only then will I really get into the packing like a maniac phase! Ha! Me and Brian did get right to work yesterday after we had lunch and played a bit with the kids. We sorted through remaining boxes in the garage, and then we bought new cushions and paint for our patio set. We painted the set a medium blue, with bright tropical blue cushion. It looks amazing! And we didnt have to spend the money on a new patio set!! :) I was so tired I was in bed by 9:45 last night and slept straight through til 7:30 this morning. Today the appraiser is supposed to come by and it will be nice and warm and I will be out with the kids all day.

Today Brian is gone to work and its wierd and I miss him. After almost 3 weeks together its odd knowing I wont see him til after 6:30 tonight. But I wish him much love, luch and happiness at his new job and I know he will do great!!! I love you baby! :)

I dont know how much I will be on here in the next 2 weeks, because on top of moving I also have my babygirls birthday!!!! I am still in shock over that and feel bad that her day wont shine as much with everything else going on at the same time. But I am sure one day she will totally understand, :)

Well until whenever, lol,

The Wild and Crazy Four Ps in a Pod!!